therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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