Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
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