dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
