I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
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