I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
