Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
