Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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