Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
