i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I don't deserve a penis
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
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