I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize
