I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
