I don't think brook has ever known best
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
