did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
