sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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