Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
