This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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