She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
