You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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