your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
