You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
