Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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