I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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