The maid of honor just puked.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
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