I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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