Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
