Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
