is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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