u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
