Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
