I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
