Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
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