Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
