I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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