For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
