I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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