i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
