My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
