no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
