Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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