a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
nutella sex= disaster
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
