I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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