You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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