Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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