Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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