she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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