Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
