went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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