Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
