I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
