I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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