ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
