There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
